240lbs., Don’t Let The Door Hit Ya When You Leave

Dear 240lbs,

I have found someone else. Though you have been replaced by 239lbs that is only temporary as well. 239lbs is just being used. A stepping stone.

We have been together on and off again for many years. Though we have had fun together, I’m not going to miss you at all. Now don’t try to get me back, it just won’t work. No standing outside the donut shop beckoning me to come in “just to talk.” I know that trick. No disguising the container of carrots as a family-sized bag of pizza rolls, I fell for that too many times!

240lbs, it is best for both of us that we part. I’m no good for you, and you certainly are not good for me.

I remember when we met, do you recall that moment all those years ago? I was steadily seeing 238lbs and then I had that large portion of lasagna and HELLO THERE 240lbs! And though I’ve strayed from you with 250lbs, 260lbs, 270lbs, 280lbs, and even heavier siblings I always seem to find myself back with you, 240lbs.

But no more. Be gone. Off with you. I banish you and all your older siblings. If you try to contact me, I won’t respond.


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